I’ve noticed this meme floating around Facebook, in which you write “25 random facts, habits, or goals about yourself.” You’re also supposed to tag people, but I hate that shit. Anyway, in the spirit of my current writer’s block, here ’tis:
1. For several years of my childhood, I earnestly and fervently believed that I was from Pluto.
2. My biggest fear are featureless faces, or faces in which the features have been obscured (Clowns, stay the fuck away).
3. Between the ages of 7 and 9, I wrote movie reviews for the Democrat & Chronicle, the Rochester newspaper.
4. I’ve really gotten into mountain climbing over the past year. I’d love to take a trip around the world and hike through every mountain range along the way.
5. A sketchy-sounding, self-proclaimed “shaman” once told my mom that in a past life, I was an Indian princess who felt trapped in my life of privilege, so I stole a boat and took off down the Ganges, and accidentally drowned.
6. I am trying to learn how to say the sentence “My dog has no hair” in every language. So far, the only ones I can reliably remember are French, Spanish, Italian, and German.
7. I’ve seen Ben Folds in concert 6 times over the course of 11 years.
8. My favorite terrible movie is Piñata: Survival Island. It’s about a bunch of sexy co-eds on a tropical island who get attacked by a demonic piñata. Rent it immediately.
9. I really want to go to grad school, but I have no idea what to go for. I wish they had liberal arts grad school, and that it would be somehow financially helpful.
10. At a bar once, I gave Davy Rothbart (the founder of FOUND Magazine) my phone number. I wonder if he’ll ever call.
11. I’ve been to two of the places that John Keats lived—his house in Hampstead in London, and the house where he died in Rome, at the base of the Spanish Steps.
12. I like most foods and flavors, but I absolutely abhor cilantro. To me, it tastes like dirt mixed with blood.
13. I’ve been to four Harry Potter midnight book releases. Yeah, I’m a geek. Shut up.
14. This was my dream for my adult life, circa 10 years old: I wanted to be a syndicated newspaper cartoonist, living alone in a remote cabin in the Yukon Territory. Cartoons would be delivered to my publishers via sled dog. (This is what happens when a child spends too much time reading Jack London and Bill Watterson.)
15. I’m ready to move out of Boston, but I can’t decide whether I want to live in New York, San Francisco, or a remote mountain cabin the in the Andes.
16. I wish that one of my eyes was a camera, and that I could take covert photographs just by winking. (Not sure how I’d develop the prints, though.)
17. A few years back, I bought a mini blueberry pie from a farmer’s market. It was only after I took a bite of it that I looked at the label and realized it was an apple pie, turned dark blue by mold.
18. I have never been in love.
19. At a book signing, I told David Sedaris a story that made him say “Ew.” (It was about raisins.)
20. I compulsively collect quotations. I don’t know what I’ll ever do with them all, but they’re certainly piling up on my hard drive.
21. If I have anything close to a religious or spiritual belief, it’s belief in the power of narrative.
22. My friends once convinced me that a land bridge was being built between California and Hawaii. My one qualm: “Won’t the ocean fight back?”
23. I’ve always felt out of joint with my generation and my time. I think I was born into the wrong era.
24. My mother found a dead hummingbird, and put it in the freezer to preserve it. It’s been there, in a Ziploc bag, for almost 20 years.
25. If I ever get married, I want my wedding song to be the Beatles’ “Everybody’s Got Something to Hide Except for Me and My Monkey.” During our first dance, my husband and I will argue over which of us, in this situation, is the monkey.