Listening to: “The Luckiest Guy on the Lower East Side” – The Magnetic Fields

I s’pose I could say lots about my trip back to WNY for Thanksgiving… about the pseudo-Chinese curios I found stashed in my grandparent’s disused liquor cabinet, about the gravy-and-rage-soaked power struggle that is Two Thanksgiving Dinners/One Family, about the fact that they decided to make Pittsford Plaza even more gross by adding a big honking ugly-ass Cheesecake Factory, about two-dog road trips across the Northeast…

Instead, I want to share with you, O Interwebs, this fantastically awful-sounding recipe for “Liptauer Cheese” I found in a scrapbook of old recipes, circa 1960, of mysterious origin. Most were clipped from magazines, but this one was proudly handwritten on a 3×5 card by one “Jean Morten”:

Work 6 ozs of cream cheese (2 small packages) until smooth & gradually blend in 1/4 cup butter. Add 1 tsp each of capers & paprika, 2 anchovies & 1 shallot, both finely chopped, and 1/2 tsp each of caraway seeds & salt.

Press the mixture into a small mold or form it into a roll & wrap in wax paper. Let the cheese mellow in the refrigerator.

The mold-happy nastified recipe immediately reminded me of these beauties–Weight Watchers recipe cards from 1974, complete with funny captions by Wendy McClure. My friend used to have a couple of these framed in her kitchen. My personal fave:

Sometimes salmon will come to the big city full of dreams. Only to wind up used, and mangled, and reconstituted, and all tarted up in some kind of sick, horrifying salmon drag.  Look, its still trying to spawn. With lemons. Its confused. Oh, man, so sad.

Sometimes salmon will come to the big city full of dreams. Only to wind up used, and mangled, and reconstituted, and all tarted up in some kind of sick, horrifying salmon drag. Look, it's still trying to spawn. With lemons. It's confused. Oh, man, so sad.

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