Vaguely athletic Xmas

Listening to: “Meet Me Under the Mistletoe” – Harry and the Potters

From the Territory Ahead catalog which I was browsing while on the loo: this, I shit you not, is a real product name:

The Vaguely Athletic Pullover.

Gotta give them fellas credit for honesty.

Christmas Eve was, well, unsurprisingly rife with family drama. It’s come to the point where I openly jot down notes during major holiday gatherings. My fucked-up fam’s a comitragic treasure trove.

I took this one down the other day at the nursing home, word for word:

MOM: Dad–dad!
GRANDPA: What?
M: Did you want your elephant?
G: What?
M: Your elephant! Did Pammy move your elephant away? Did she move it away?
G: What?
M: YOUR ELEPHANT!

Happy Christmas to all, and to all a restless, restless night.

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